Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Life Reviewed, a podcast by Hope House Colorado, where we invite you into conversation with teenage moms and the people who champion them. These stories of struggle, overcoming and perspective shifts will challenge you to review life as you've known it. One story, one person, one conversation at a time.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Oh, I thought I knew the kind of life that I would need.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: Hello, everybody. My name is Lisa Stephen, and I'm here with, with you again today on our amazing podcast, Life reviewed. And today I'm in the studio with one of the most amazing people at Hope House, Jamie Barnes, who has been with us since almost the very beginning of Hope House. And I can't wait for all of you to get to know her just a little bit more. So I'm gonna start out by just asking her. Jamie, can you tell me what you do here at Hope House, how long you've been here, and maybe one of the things you love most about your work?
[00:01:00] Speaker C: Oh, goodness. Okay, that's a loaded question. There's a lot to it.
Well, I am now currently the empower program manager. I have been with Hope House for almost 13 years this time around. We joke about that all the time because I was here. I started with Hope House in 2003 as a volunteer and then left for a couple years after working and had my babies, raised them for, I think I was gone for five and a half, almost six years.
[00:01:32] Speaker A: It was a long absence, Jamie.
[00:01:34] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I was still kind of what was sub staff.
[00:01:38] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:01:38] Speaker C: But I was rarely called in to help out, so I missed. I did miss Hope House a whole bunch that entire time, but, yeah. So this time around, 13 years, almost in September, which we're getting there.
[00:01:53] Speaker A: Cause it's crazy.
[00:01:55] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: And tell me, what's one thing you love about your work at Hope House?
[00:02:00] Speaker C: Well, obviously I love the teen moms. That's why I'm here. They're the heart of.
They're the heart of the mission, but also part of my heart I got to share with them last week at faith week. I'm taking this off a tangent for a minute, but I got to speak at faith week. And I just. I remember looking out at all of their beautiful faces, and I'm going to get emotional now, just thinking, I love you so much. And they just stare at you with their little baby doe eyes, and it's like. I know. Like, seriously, I love you. I love you so much. I want to come and hug each one of you, but I couldn't stop and do that. But anyway, the teen moms and just the ability to be able to love on them with a love that only Jesus has. And where else can you go that you can talk about God and work and incorporate that into everything?
That is like the main thing I love. Speaking of all incorporated, before we go.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: Further, what is faith week? So people know what that means?
[00:03:06] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Yes. So faith week essentially is a vacation bible school for our teen moms, geared for them learning and activities and just getting to spend time together in community, playing games and that kind of thing. But while they're doing that, then the kids are also in early learning, learning about the same things on a kid level, playing and having fun and that kind of thing. But it's also a week just to share Jesus with the moms in a way that we don't really get to every single day. Very more in depth looking at the Bible, reading verses, that sort of thing. So it's pretty cool.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: I absolutely loved. I happened to be walking through the mama bear cave in our resource center, and all the moms were just like, sitting there. Some were standing. Lots of them kind of had their, their eyes, like, kind of looking up. And leading worship was one of our staff members and one of our teen moms, Ashley, and I was just like, whoa, one of the mamas is helping lead worship. It was so beautiful. All their voices were raised and they were singing. It was just, it was amazing.
[00:04:11] Speaker C: It was really cool. It's the first year that we've ever had a mom, a teen mom say, I want to stand up and sing. I want to lead worship or help lead worship. So that was really sweet.
[00:04:20] Speaker A: So cool. So cool. Well, okay, so now I'm gonna take it back. Let's go back, way back to when you were a little, little girl.
I wanna know more about you. We've known each other for like, 20 years, but I'm sure there are some things I don't know. So I wanna know, what did you wanna be when you grew up?
[00:04:40] Speaker C: That's a good question.
I always wanted to be a mom. That was like, the main thing. I had a desire to be a mom. I wanted to raise kids and just do that, be with them. So in order to do that, it was, what kind of schooling can I do so that I can get a job or have a career where I can be home with my kids also.
So what better way to do that than teaching? So I went to, I was like, I'm going to be a teacher someday. And I remember as a kid playing with my brother and our stuffed animals in the basement. We would set them all up and have the desks, and I was always the teacher, of course.
And I would make my brother do things he didn't want to do, like spell words and do numbers, and he'd always want to have a snack or go to recess, and I wouldn't let him because I was a teacher and I was in charge. So you have to stay here and do what I'm telling you to do. So that was fun. I mean, I joke about it, but that's really what I wanted to do. I'm like, I'm going to be a teacher someday, so I better get really good practice in the.
[00:05:47] Speaker A: And were you, did you end up.
[00:05:48] Speaker C: Becoming a teacher for a very short period of time? Yes, I taught for one year.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: Oh, man.
[00:05:55] Speaker C: That was it.
I did go to college for that. I went to college for teaching English. I was going to be a high school english teacher. I knew I liked high school.
Middle school's definitely not for me. I feel like whoever, whoever's a heart for those poor middle schoolers is definitely a gift from God.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: They're called, they're called those middle school teachers.
[00:06:19] Speaker C: Yeah, that's for sure. I did that. I substitute taught for part time, and I tried all the different areas, and that's when I realized I do not want to do middle school. Elementary is fun, but it's a lot of work and just a little bit harder to have relationship with younger kids. But high school, that was my sweet spot. Like, I enjoyed those students and they were funny to me. I really enjoyed the high schoolers, but, yeah, I taught for a year at Aurora, Aurora Central High School, so it was considered an inner city high school.
[00:06:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:54] Speaker C: And I did not actually even teach English, which is what I was supposed to be doing, but they needed a civics teacher and a speech coach. And what was the other class? There was one other class and I knew nothing about any of it, but I was teaching it. So I would just read ahead a little bit before I would actually go in and teach it and then teach it. Civics I knew nothing about, but I enjoyed being with this students. And that's when I realized I love this age. I love these people and just helping form them, but I don't, I don't enjoy curriculum. I don't enjoy making them do things in grading papers and giving them a grade. I want to just sit and talk to you and get to know you and.
[00:07:38] Speaker A: Oh, so funny. I was going to ask you, why did you only teach for one year?
[00:07:42] Speaker C: Uh huh. Well, that, and also, I think that was about the time I found Hope house, so I just started volunteering here, and then I had Alyssa, who was my first daughter from Rob's first marriage.
Yeah. And so I was busy doing that and just decided I don't really want to do this teaching thing.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm glad it worked out for us, because all those things that you loved most about teaching you can take and incorporate into your role here at Hope House. And you don't have to grade papers.
[00:08:16] Speaker C: Or follow a curriculum. I mean, we have some, but it's fun curriculum. It's not exactly. Not a standardized that somebody else set for us. So, yeah, I think. But that's also a God thing if you think about it. Like, he laid it on my heart to be a mom. I went into the teaching field, started in with, you know, the high schoolers, and then that's when I'm going, okay. I love this aspect of it and this piece of it. I was taking that step in the direction that I thought I was called to go. And yet in that, God pulled apart the pieces of, here's what I've gifted you with.
This isn't what's fitting for you. Cause this isn't where I see you best.
But at the time, I didn't know either. I just knew I liked teenagers. I liked high schoolers.
[00:09:03] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:09:04] Speaker C: How is that going to be used? I don't know.
[00:09:06] Speaker A: I love that. Fits so well with our theme of life reviewed, because we have these ideas of what it is we think we want to do, we carry with us. And I think a lot of those things are anchored in some of the ways that God's developed us, who he's grown us to be. But we take it in, like, run with our own direction of how, what we think he's calling us to do. And then it's like he has a different idea for where he's taking us. And I love you brought up that you always wanted to be a mom. I always wanted to be a mom. When I was a little kid, I wanted seven children someday.
[00:09:37] Speaker C: Oh, whoa.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: I know.
[00:09:39] Speaker C: I don't think I ever wanted seven.
[00:09:41] Speaker A: But I made the mistake of, well, luckily for me, it didn't turn out to be a mistake. But I told my boyfriend at the time, John, who's now my husband, of, like, 38 years, that I wanted seven children. And he did not run the other direction, although I learned later that he wanted to very much. So. He's like, oh, no, I do not want seven children.
[00:09:58] Speaker C: Why seven?
[00:09:59] Speaker A: I don't know. It was just a number I had in my head. And then I did home daycare, and that squelched that hole. No, I do not. Once you do home daycare and you have, like, eight children or nine or ten in your home that you're caring for and loving on every day, it really helps you narrow that down.
[00:10:16] Speaker C: I only had three children, so I did home daycare also. You did. In between my first stint at Hope House and when I was home with the kids raising my three babies, we needed an extra income while we were home, and so I took in a. I actually watched, like, three different kids and then ended up with a family that just had two boys that I raised. Basically, both of those boys from the time they were in. Well, one of them was born, and I raised him to, like, fourth grade, and then they moved to Florida. So I was with the family for a while, but when I was watching all those other kids, yeah, it immediately I was like, this is not my calling. I definitely do not want to be.
[00:11:03] Speaker A: Don't want to do this forever. I would have, like, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches during the summer when the older kids. Older siblings would be home for the summer, and I'd have a lot of kids because I had, like, four families, and the older kids would come home, and I'd have, like, peanut butter and jelly assembly line. Peanut butter, peanut butter, peanut butter, jelly, jelly, jelly. Slapping together the sandwiches, I'm like, this is not my calling.
[00:11:25] Speaker C: Goldfish. Here's the. Yeah, yeah, it was a lot.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: But it is interesting how we both. I think we both have, like, nurturing personalities, and so it's interesting that we both ended up doing home daycare. But tell me about your family. Tell me about your kids, your husband.
[00:11:41] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. So rob and I have been married 20 years. Actually going on 21 this year.
[00:11:48] Speaker A: Congrats.
[00:11:48] Speaker C: We're getting there. He was married before we met and had Alyssa, but I met Alyssa when she was three, and she is now 25 and an amazing young woman. So I stepped in as her mom and raised her. Rob and I got married when she was three, and she pretty much was with us full time. So I will call her my daughter. She is my daughter. She's my first. She may have not been born from my body, but she was born in my heart. Like, God knew we needed each other. She needed a mama that was gonna love her through it all. Cause she definitely had some highs and lows as a child, but also I needed someone to love and someone that helped heal my broken heart from losing my brother. You know, a few years prior to meeting Rob. But anyway, Alyssa was six when we had Nathan. He's now 19. And then Ashley came along a few years later and she is now 16. So my kids are not kids anymore as you understand, like 1619 and 25. It's a whole new season of life, right?
[00:12:58] Speaker A: Yeah, it is. Totally. It's a totally, totally new season of life. Those teenage years, I swear. Well, I almost felt like the 1920 to 23 or so years were even harder because they still sort of needed you but they don't want to need you. And so they're like trying to disconnect and at the same time they just.
It's so fascinating to me to think about my own kids and who they are and kind of how they grew up, who they were when they were like 18, 1920 years old. And then our mamas and like the difference, like, I looked at, you know, my daughter at 18 and I'm like, this girl could no more be a mom at this stage of life. Yeah, I don't know what. And I look at our mamas and they're so. Not that my kids weren't amazing and so strong and so beautiful, but I don't. They didn't grow up in the same way. They didn't have the same challenges. They didn't have the same things to overcome, thankfully, as our moms have had. And, man, our moms are so courageous and tenacious and unafraid and they're focused like my kids at that age were, which is what you want and what our mamas want for their kids when their kids are 18 or 19. They're exploring. They're trying to figure life out. They're, you know, getting into a little bit of trouble here and there, but mostly giving us a lot of run for our money. You know, they're worrying me about their grades or are they gonna go to college, are they gonna have a job.
[00:14:27] Speaker C: When they get out of school?
[00:14:29] Speaker A: And then we've got these teen moms who are like so incredibly focused and like every day there are no spare minutes. They don't get the privilege, really, of getting to explore and think about, you know, reflect on the way things, they want things to go in their life. Because every minute of every day is I'm getting up, I'm caring for this child, I'm working on school or I'm working on my job, my career, everything is focused on where they're going. And my kids definitely did not have that. They were not focused.
[00:15:03] Speaker C: They were not. Well, you have three, right?
[00:15:05] Speaker A: I have three. Our oldest is 37, married, has three little girls who are just the light of my life. Definitely. When people say grandparenting is worth all the struggles of parenting, they are so right.
[00:15:16] Speaker C: Is it okay?
[00:15:17] Speaker A: Just.
[00:15:18] Speaker C: I'm not there yet, but it's so good.
[00:15:20] Speaker A: They just love you so unconditionally and run up and hug your legs and just want you to pick them up and giggle as soon as they see.
[00:15:27] Speaker C: You and you can spoil them and do what you want.
[00:15:29] Speaker A: Spoil them?
[00:15:30] Speaker C: Well, mostly, yeah. You got to abide by parental rules a little bit.
[00:15:35] Speaker A: We push the parental rules now and then, but. And then our middle son, who is also a Nathan, is 34, and our daughter Heather just got married last year, is 32. So, yeah, it's crazy. They're all way grown up adults. And you mentioned your brother, and that's another thing. It's kind of actually sadly interesting. But we've had a few people at Hope House who've lost brothers. I lost a brother when we were kids, and he was a young adult.
[00:16:04] Speaker C: Yeah, he was 22. He had just turned 22.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: Yeah. It's, I think, another one of those things that not all of us were teenage moms, but we share a lot of things in our life that we can relate to with our teen moms, and because so often, sadly, our teen moms have. They just have had a lot of loss in their life. Might have been a sibling, oftentimes a parent.
Sometimes I just don't know how they bear it because I feel like they have lots of people, like an aunt they've lost and an uncle they've lost and a parent they've lost. Like, they'll have a handful or more sometimes.
[00:16:37] Speaker C: Right. All at the same time.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:39] Speaker C: The moms will share their stories, and there's therefore the incredible amount of loss that they have, and yet they continue to move forward is very inspiring. Yeah.
[00:16:50] Speaker A: Yeah, they are. Yeah. Back to my words. For them, strong and tenacious. They're just so much grit.
[00:16:57] Speaker C: I know. So, yeah, just this last week, I shared, like, I was saying, I was talking to them at faith week about their kids, and I jokingly said, like, don't blink. Don't blink. Cause they grow up so fast. And one of them was like, I blinked, and my baby is now, too. And I said, I told you. And then they all had stories.
[00:17:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:17] Speaker C: Like, I blinked, and then my baby was da da da, you know, and so on and on it went. But it is. It is crazy to how fast they.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Grow, and I love that because that's such a good example of how a mom is a mom is a mom. It doesn't matter if you were a first time mom at 40 or a first time mom at 14.
Like, we all blink and they grow too fast. We all worry about them nonstop.
We all pour our hearts into them. We all question ourselves. It doesn't matter. I think our mamas think that they're the only ones who question themselves. And I feel like you and your team do such a brilliant job of helping our mamas to see that. All moms worry. All moms question their decisions. All moms wake up in the morning going, I made a mom mistake yesterday, and I don't know how to. I'm so mad at myself.
[00:18:07] Speaker C: And we talked about that, too, how you could be so mad at your kids and you've gotten so frustrated all day, and you're just like. And then you go to bed, or you put them to bed and you look in at them and they're sleeping. Sweet little angel faces, and you just think, how could I be so mad? How did I get so frustrated? But I told all of the moms, like, we've all been through it. We all deal with it. And you, some nights you cry yourself to sleep, but you know what? By the grace of God, we get to wake up the next morning and try again. And that's all we do. You just keep trying again and again and again.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: Well, I love. I think that you are one of those people for the moms, and you shared that just in talking about faith week and sharing with the moms about your story, because you kind of told your story for them. I think you're one of those people in their life who they look at and say, this is someone who's made a tremendous impact on my life. This is someone who changed the way I thought about something or encouraged me in a moment when I needed that encouragement so badly.
Who in your life, when you think back, is someone that's just made this tremendous impact on your life?
[00:19:13] Speaker C: Oh, goodness. That's a good question.
I think outside of Jesus, he definitely. He wins. But a tremendous impact.
I mean, okay, so I can't just pick one person, but because they're married, they are like one. I'm gonna pick my parents only because just growing up and watching how they raised us, my dad owned his own plumbing company and did that. Twenty four seven. And then my mom was the bookkeeper, the, all the other things, you name it, she helped run the company. And so I just remember there were times where he was working around the clock, but he never missed a sporting event, or I liked to sing. I was in the choir, so he would be in my choir concerts, and he'd go right back to work or whatever, but he would never miss those things. But he worked hard because he was providing for us and our family. And so I saw that a lot in both of them and just their give and take with one another, but also just how much they loved us and wanted a better life for us than maybe how they grew up and some of the struggles that they went through. We always went to church on Sunday mornings together, but my mom was such a good mom, and she'll even say to this day, like, oh, I messed up all the time. I'm like, who doesn't? Like, we all do. But I would say, just the way they were together and how they raised us and loved each one of us so much, you never had to feel like you weren't loved or, oh, they love my brother more. They love my sister more. It was. They gave us each so much love, but also taught boundaries, set limits, and followed through, but were actually very loving and forgiving. And so I base a lot of my life and how I am raising my kids, how rob and I raise our kids on just watching how my parents did it, tweaking it in our own way, for sure, but just that, just knowing that, okay, I can mess up big time, but you're still gonna love me. You're still gonna take me back in. And so I would say that they've made the biggest impact on my life, obviously, for so many reasons, but they inspired me.
[00:22:02] Speaker A: That's so beautiful. I feel like that's such a great example also of what we do at Hope House, which is so crazy. There's such a parallel sometimes in, we're not our teen momma's parent, but a lot of what we create for them, the environment we create for them, is a lot like what you're describing your parents did for you. First and foremost, we love you. Like you said when we first started talking, you just look at them and you just. You're just filled with love for them. And honestly, that just comes from God, because they're not our children, but our hearts are so full of love for them, a little bit like a parent feels for a child, but then the way we create boundaries for them and we help them understand limits and we help them understand responsibility, and we continue to love you, even when you fall down and scrape your knee and you know you make a mistake or you.
They set these individual growth plans. They have these goals that they're working toward, and they'll go completely off script. And there goes a goal that you can see for them. Like, you were so close and then you tanked it in whatever way. But then when they come back and they're like, okay, I need another chance. And we're there with open arms, just like your parents were for you. Like, open arms. Come back. We're always going to be here. This is what home looks like. I feel like we give them a little of what your parents gave you.
[00:23:27] Speaker C: Oh, that's so neat.
That's a really cool tie together. Yeah.
[00:23:33] Speaker A: Parallel.
[00:23:33] Speaker C: I was like, what's the word? That's really cool. Because I do think that that's definitely the environment we try to create for the moms, but also just the. They mess up. They make mistakes. And when they do, what they've learned is that.
That they probably. It's unforgivable, or you're gonna be angry, or I can't face you and tell you what I've done. And so instead, we joke, but they ghost us. Like, we quit seeing them or hearing from them, and they go and they live their life. But that's one cool thing I think we're really good about here is also chasing after them. You know, sometimes we have to be careful that we don't turn into stalkers lovingly. We joke about that lovingly. We love them so much. But so many of them will tell you that if it weren't for us reaching out and just checking in on them and saying, hey, you know, we're here. They would probably have never come back, but they do. They always come back. Just gotta let them go and do their thing.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I remember that.
You probably remember Kylie coming to us. Oh, my goodness. I think she was 15. And, I don't know, Landon was, like, three weeks old or something, and she wanted to get her GED. And she was just so beautiful and lost and focused at the same time. Like, they're just this conundrum, our teenage moms. And she was. I don't know. She was one of those mamas that just caught my heart. And her father's or her child's father, unfortunately, was murdered, which was just a terrible time. And she. She disappeared, obviously. And I just remember. I don't even know how come I had her phone number because I wasn't, like, her teacher or anything, but somehow I had her phone number and I would just text her. Like, I just. Maybe it was even Facebook messenger, but I was kind of constant. And, like, once a week. I just tell her, I'm praying for you. I'm thinking of you. You're on my heart. And one time, she answered me back, and I couldn't believe she answered me back. And it gave me this, like, moment to be like, okay, what do you need? Can I order you pizza? That's, like, been my thing. Like, if a mom just is, like, they just. I mean, nobody's caring for them or taking care of them, it's, like, one thing I can do. Can I order pizza so you don't have to cook? And after that, she just started talking to me. Like, she'd text me and tell me she was having a horrible day or this happened with Landon or whatever it was. And she did eventually start coming back in, but sometimes it's those. And now she's just beautiful and married and got married at Hope house in our dining room and has two more beautiful kids. And she's just this amazing, strong, courageous woman. But it took that sort of somebody going after her, like, I'm gonna go after you. I'm not giving up. I won't give up on you.
And that's how we are at Hope house. We'll never give up on our mamas.
[00:26:24] Speaker C: Yeah. I love that you, food is your thing, Lisa.
[00:26:29] Speaker A: It is my thing. I love feeding people.
[00:26:31] Speaker C: Yes. And you're really good at it. There are so many times over the years where I've heard you talk about, let's just get him pizza. Let's just order food. And so, I mean, I think because every time you've done that, it's always had a positive outcome. I mean, homies and homework that we're doing right now, a study group session every Tuesday for the moms to come in and study together. You said, provide food, give them food. And we do an array of snacks, and they love it. And every week, it's, can we have this next week? Can we have this next week? And I'm like, if you're coming, yeah, we'll absolutely have it.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: That's right. It's so cool. I actually didn't really think about that. But there are so many great stories around food and hope house. And even before Hope House, I remember back when I was doing teen mops, before we had even started hope House. And teen mops was like a support group through Mops International. Or now the mom co for teenage moms. And this one mom who had mentioned that she loved brownies, and so we brought homemade brownies the next time, and she was floored, like, I'll never forget the look on her face. She's like, nobody ever listens to me. Like, you heard that I like brownies, and you made homemade brownies. Like, no one's ever done that before. It just floored her.
And I think also, you know, we were talking about our kids, and teenagers like food. They like to eat, and that's a thing. And we joke about our kids, especially the boys eating us, eating us out of house and home. For our moms, it's different, man. One of the stories that gets to me every time is Jamie coming to GEd. And she said, I just remember that my first day at GED, like, the tradition was the first day of your GED classes. We order pizza, and this was way back before we were quite so big, so we probably only had five or six or eight students, but we would order pizza on their first day. And we ordered pizza, and Jamie was like, oh, my gosh, I'm starving. I haven't eaten in, like, 48 hours.
[00:28:29] Speaker C: Right?
[00:28:30] Speaker A: She hadn't eaten, and there was pizza, and, like, that just. It breaks my heart. I didn't know that at the time, but it's more often than we would care to think that our teenagers, our mamas are hungry. If there is food, they're feeding it to their kids. They're saving it for their. For their kids or their family. And if somebody's not going to get to eat, it's theme.
[00:28:52] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:28:53] Speaker A: And that just breaks your heart.
[00:28:55] Speaker C: It does. But it is so special. I have a similar story with one of our moms recently.
You know, we have volunteers that bring in food or meals most of the time, and they always show up with the most random things. And one night, one of them brought a cake that had been. It was like four cakes mixed together, so it was like a carrot cake, a red velvet cake, a chocolate cake, and some other. Anyway, one of the moms, I overheard her say, I love carrot cake, and we never had have carrot cake. And so she is one of the ones that comes to homies and homework. And so the very first time she came, I made sure that there was a carrot cake there. And she came in and she said, I love carrot cake. How did you know? And I said, I overheard you. So those things are neat. And it's so important to me just to hear them, when you hear them say a little something to be able to surprise them with that at a later time, it just. Yeah, it helps them just, like, buy in even more. Like, I'm coming. I want to be here. I want to better myself, so I just. I want to be here.
[00:29:58] Speaker A: Yeah, we say it all the time. We want them to feel like this is their place to belong. Like, we see you, we get you, we want you to have the little things that you want. Like, I mean, I'm sure when my kids were little, they got to pick what birthday cake they wanted, what's their special meal they want. I'm sure you probably did something similar on their birthdays, and our moms just haven't gotten to experience that typically. So to know that there are people who are truly thinking about, like, what they want, that's pretty special. So, Jamie, you are one of the people at Hope House and probably one of the primary people at Hope House. We're always asking Jamie to pray. Like, anytime we need a prayer or we need somebody to lead Bible study or share about their faith, like, Jamie, you are so driven and motivated by your faith, and it just, like, shines out of you. Like, it just exudes from you how much you love Jesus and how much you want our moms to know how much Jesus loves them. Tell, tell me a little bit about, you said you went to church when you were little with your family, but tell me a little bit about how did Jesus get to be Jesus to you?
[00:31:02] Speaker C: Yeah, I was young, so I was, we grew up. My dad was a deacon in the church and I went to Iwana's every Thursday night or, and we did church on Wednesday nights. I mean, we were at church a lot, so it was just a part of my life I didn't know any different. And at six, I remember just making that decision that I wanted to accept Christ and I wanted him to be my personal lord and savior. And so I did that at six and then was baptized.
But you're young, you know, so you go through all the ups and downs. And it was in high school where I really made the relationship my own, where I was in youth group and we did a Bible study.
Experiencing God, it's a really deep one. Like Beth Moore did another round of it a little bit later, but it was the first time I had ever officially done like a big time Bible study on my own with fellow high schoolers. And I just remember really being into it and just really feeling God. I did a couple mission trips. Really love that. Just going around and sharing Jesus, doing vacation Bible school in Mexico, and then just spending a lot of time in youth and that kind of thing. And so God was always just a part of my life.
But it wasn't until high school I really built that relationship and learned what it meant to be able to have conversations with him, not just sit down and pray before dinner or before bed. But to continually be in relationship with him means looking a little crazy sometimes, talking, talking to him out loud in the car. And nowadays, luckily, it can look like you're on bluetooth maybe, and not so much as talking to an empty car. Yeah.
Or just, like, speaking in my head to him when I'm nervous or thanking him, just having that continual conversation going. I learned that in high school, but then I would say my senior year, which I think is kind of normal for everybody, you tend to fall off. I started feeling like youth group. The people at church on Sunday morning were not the same people I was seeing during the week at school. And I just. I didn't. It didn't feel good. I didn't like it. Kind of pulled away. Did my own thing for a few years. First few years of college, did my own thing.
And then I think it was, like, close to graduating. I just realized, I mean, God's always been a part of my story. I've always had a very strong faith and belief.
I'm not one that has to see something to believe it.
So faith for me is very easy. I can read the Bible and just trust. Like, God's gonna. He's gonna come through. He did for me at one point. But I will say that it was completely solidified when my brother passed away. And that was just a time where I went through a lot of emotion, a lot of anger and hurt and frustration. And what I learned is that God can handle it. He can handle it all. I can be angry at him. I can maybe even use a cuss word or two, and he's okay with that. Like, he still loves me. And so because he's been faithful in the past, I can know and have more confidence of him being faithful in the future. But real quick to back up to the prayer thing. So, believe it or not, a lot of you don't know me out there, but I'm pretty talkative now and outgoing, a little more outgoing. But in high school, I was not. And most of my life, I was very quiet, a little more shy and timid. I kind of kept to myself, unless you were my friend. I wasn't anything like I am now. A very different person. It's so crazy to think, but I'll never forget that there was a worship leader one time that said to me, keep praying, like, randomly. One night, we were doing a youth group. We were having all the things and he was going around and praying for everybody, and he prayed for me. And he said, you need to keep praying.
And afterwards, I said to him, I'm not sure what you mean by that, because I do pray all the time. And he said, no, you need to pray out loud. You need to keep praying for people. You are going to be a prayer warrior.
And it still chokes me up because I remember thinking, you're nuts because I am not going to pray out loud. You will never catch me praying out loud because I'm too embarrassed, I'm too shy, I'm too. You name it, whatever it is. I felt that I was like, no way will I ever pray out loud. And so for you to say, like, I am the go to person, what God taught me was one. The more I prayed out loud, the more okay with it I was, the more confident I became. But also, I learned that a lot of times when I go into prayer, it's just conversation with him. Like, I just go into, it's just me and him, and we're just talking and chatting. So there are times where I'll be praying and I have to catch myself because it might not be appropriate for everybody's ears. Not that it's a bad thing, but it's like, oh, this is. This is just me and Jesus. But.
[00:36:13] Speaker A: But I love that. I love those moments because when you pray like that, it's so intimate. It's so, like, real. Like, you're just, like the two of us talking. And I think our moms see that and they feel that, like, it makes Jesus so much more part of our day, part of our daily.
I don't know. You invite him in in a way where most of our mamas, if they've ever gone to church, they just have felt like, well, some of them have been really. Were really judged in the church when they became pregnant or gave birth.
A lot of them don't have any church experience. But mostly I feel like they think, well, if there is a God, either hates me or he must be super mad at me because I've messed things up, or he must hate me because why does he let my life look like this? Why does he let all these hard things happen to me? And so for you to pray in a way that just makes him our friend, like, it makes him really real. And sitting here right next to us, I think, is so new to them. Like, it's a new concept that he would just be part of your day to day life and that he's always there, even in those hard times, even when things looked like they were. Even when you lost your brother. And when I lost my brother, like, I was really mad at God. I, like, really, like, told him I hated him, and, I mean, it was revolutionary to think, like, which I figured that was the end of that. Like, he was done with me if I wasn't done with him. But I. To learn that he has big shoulders, like, he's God. He can take it when we're mad at him or when we're yelling at him was kind of revolutionary to me. But anyway, I love the beautiful faith that you bring to Hope House, and I would love to hear, like, how do you see God move at Hope House? What are some of the ways you've seen God move?
[00:37:58] Speaker C: Oh, gosh, it's so hard to remember all of the times. I wish I was better at journaling like you so I could write it all down.
I mean, just, gosh, he's shown up in so many ways, even in the little things. Well, this one stands out to me in particular. But last year, so we do the backpack drive every year for our teen moms and their kids who are going back to school, and so we put out there, the kids get to pick the backpacks that they want, and that's, you know, it's so special, and they get their backpack to go back to school.
But we had one in particular, little boy who loves Sonic, and he wanted a sonic backpack, and we just. We didn't get one in. We didn't have a sonic backpack.
And so at the time, selena and I were, she's no longer our admissions and activities coordinator, but she was at the time, and we were going through the backpacks, and there was a group of us in there, and someone mentioned how it would just be really cool if we had a sonic backpack. And I remember just in the moment saying, I tend to look up when I'm talking to God out loud in front of everybody, when I'm not praying, praying, but having a conversation with him. And so I looked up, and I was like, did you hear that? We need a sonic backpack down here?
And everybody kind of chuckled, and I'm not kidding you, five minutes later, a backpack was donated, and it was a sonic backpack. And those are just, like, goosebump moments where you're like, okay, he really did hear me.
He wants this little boy to feel so loved that he provided that sonic backpack for him. So that's one small way. Like, teeny tiny God is doing that day in and day out. Obviously, he's doing it, because we have this beautiful resource center building and we have the early learning center building. But those are the big ways he's showing up every day for our moms. I mean, there's just different little prayers that we pray in huddle every morning as a team as we're getting ready for the day and we're praying over the day and the moms that are going to be in that day.
And you just see little moments, little God winks is what I call them throughout the day, where he's like, I got you. I got this, mom. I heard you. I know what's on your heart. And so there are even times when I haven't spoken something out loud that I see him providing for a mom, or maybe there's a specific mom that I haven't seen in a while. Just feel a heaviness on my heart and I will reach out and that mom will come right back to me and say, how did you know that I was struggling over this today? And you just reached out. And I always have to go back and say, I didn't know. God did.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: So crazy. So literally just this morning, I was one of our moms, Chantelle, from years ago. She had gone on, like, a little vacation to Las Vegas, and she brought me back a pen. And I didn't even know she. Like, I was back in the day when she lived in the residential program and I was part of, like, managing the residential program. I was actually the one who had to sit down with her and tell her that she couldn't stay in the residential program because she just. She wasn't moving forward. It was so hard. And I remember her just packing her bag and just saying, my heart feels so sore. Like, really, it's hurting. And I just wanted to change my mind. And the worst way.
[00:41:21] Speaker C: Of course.
[00:41:21] Speaker A: Of course you can stay.
[00:41:22] Speaker C: Oh, it's so hard sometimes to do that. Yes.
[00:41:25] Speaker A: Yet she, you know, years later, she's, like, giving me little gifts. So I. And I haven't talked to her in probably three or four years at least. And I just picked up that pen this morning for some reason when I was doing my bible time and I prayed for her. And today she stopped by. I wasn't in, and she left a note. And I'm like, are you kidding me?
[00:41:43] Speaker C: God?
[00:41:43] Speaker A: Like, Chantel just showed up today and I was so sad I missed her. But she gave me her new phone number, so now we can reach out to her and invite her to our alumni barbecue that's coming up. It's so cool for us to stay in touch with our moms and relationship is lifelong. And that's kind of where, as we wrap up, I want to end with you today is you've been a part of Hope House, like some of our staff have been with us for. I think we have a handful of staff who's been here for eight to twelve years or 13 years. There's not many of us, not many of you. Most of our staff, one year, two years, three years, and sometimes four or five, and then they move on to whatever God has called them to next. But you've been here outside of that five year gap. I mean, really, literally from the beginning. Talk a little bit about where God's taken you from where you were when you started at Hope House and what you're doing now, because what you're doing now is very different. You're not doing the hands on work like me. You've moved into a different kind of role. So talk a little bit about that.
[00:42:44] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. So in 2003, I started as a volunteer. That's where I began.
And I did that for a short while. And then I moved into a residential advisor position, which was part time in the evenings, where I helped at the house.
At the time, it was a duplex or wherever we were at, but I would come in like two evenings a week and hang out with the moms and be there at that point in time. And then I remember going into, well, we had one staff, the high school and GED coordinator was pregnant and going to go on maternity leave. And then we were just starting what we were calling the learning lab at the time, which eventually became, like, college and career, but she had health issues, and so the learning lab coordinator couldn't move forward. And you called me and said, would you be interested in this position?
And I'm like, well, okay, yeah. Well, I stepped in, and then the high school and GED coordinator went on maternity leave three days later. So not only was I beginning the college and career program, I was also covering the college or high school and GED program.
I just remember going, okay, I got three days of training, and here I am. So it's always just, yeah, 1ft in front of the other. Here we go. And so I did that for quite a while. I did college and career for seven years. So I created that program, grew it. Very proud of it, loved every minute of that, because I got to help the moms either get into college or get a job or both. And a lot of our moms are first time generation ever going to college. So for them, it was huge. And I just love being on the college campus.
I think because I did such a good job, I was given more, more, more. They're like, team lead. Do you want to be a team lead? And I remember saying, no, it's fine. Give it to so and so. Like, let so and so. And I remember Jenny going, jenny Macia, saying, no, I think you should be the team lead for the economic team. And I was like, no, that's okay. Let somebody else have it. And then it was, no, you're going to be a team lead. And I'm like, okay. So sometimes I think. I think even when we do things begrudgingly, God has a plan for that, because, I mean, I think. I know he has so much more in store for me to push me outside of my comfort zone in my box. I really enjoyed doing college and career, and it was hard, but I think he worked on my heart for so long over the last couple of years to say, I've got more for you. I want more for you. And so I am now managing, overseeing the empower team, which is a lot of all of the different programs that we offer the moms in a different way. So rather than me working one on one with the moms, now I'm working one on one with the staff. They get to work with the moms. So I'm pouring into the staff who then get to pour into the moms. So it's a much different role than what I was used to.
A little hard to adjust to, because I definitely, my heart is our mom, but I made that shift over the last year of my heart is now for my staff. Like, I just. I love them dearly, and I want to see them do well and grow their programming well. And so I'm speaking into them so that they can speak into our moms. It's definitely been a transition and not easy, a little bumpy, because there are those days where I'm like, I'm just miss the moms, but they're still there. And then that's when I go out to lunch with one of them, and I'm good and like, okay, here we go.
[00:46:33] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. I often say, one of my things I say a lot is leadership is one long series of learning to let go. And just as we wrap up, I just want to say to you, Jamie, you are such a strong and courageous leader, and it is. I can look back and see how God gave you a little bit and you stewarded it well, and then he gave you a little more. And you stewarded that well, and it was bumpy because there was attack along the way, because the enemy just never wants us to be empowering and impacting the lives and hearts of our moms the way that we are. And then he gave you a little more. And now you're in a place where I'm so grateful and thankful as the founder, because there aren't that many people who've been with us for this long. And I think that that's the way of the future. You know, people, staff members come and they. They are called, and they pour into our moms and they learn so much, and they love our moms, and they're called to the next thing. But there has to be this thread of continuity, like what threads it all together? And you're one of those things. You are that thread, that continuity, that from the beginning till now, I see you. I love you. I know you, and Jesus wants to know you, and you're pouring that into our staff so they can and poured into our moms. We have to teach the next generation of staff members so they can love on and encourage the next generation of teen moms. So I just want to say I love, love, love getting to work with you. I'm so glad God called you here for a career, not for a short, you know, a three to five year period of time, but really for your career. Thank you for what you do. I love partnering with you.
[00:48:14] Speaker C: Oh, thank you, Lisa. I love partnering with you.
[00:48:18] Speaker A: And we are so excited to invite you all to come and partner with us. If you have not been to Hope house, please come take a tour. Come see what we do. Check it out. See how you can volunteer. As Jamie shared so eloquently, our volunteers are so critical and crucial to what we do. We couldn't do it without them. We invite you to just come and be a part of the adventure at Hope House. See you next time.
[00:48:40] Speaker C: Bye.
[00:48:43] Speaker B: My joy is full.
Precious soul, the things I didn't know, the things I didn't know about you o precious soul, the things I didn't know, the things I didn't know about you, about.
