Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Life (Re)viewed, a podcast by Hope House Colorado, where we invite you into conversation with teenage moms and the people who champion them. These stories of struggle, overcoming and perspective shifts will challenge you to review life as you've known it. One story, one person, one conversation at a time.
[00:00:20] Intro Song: Oh, I thought I knew the kind of life that I would need.
[00:00:29] Speaker C: Hi. Welcome to Life Reviewed, a podcast hosted by Hope House Colorado. My name is Brittany Williams, and I am the housing support program manager here at Hope House, which means I oversee our housing services and our onsite residential program.
I manage the staff and lead the team in supporting the teen moms that we serve at Hope House in finding stable housing.
Today, I am joined by my coworker and friend, Megan.
Megan, do you want to go ahead and introduce yourself?
[00:01:02] Speaker D: Sure. Hi, everybody.
My name is Megan. I am the housing navigator here at Hope House. So what that means is I am working with all of the Hope house moms towards housing stabilization and self sufficiency.
We're excited to be here and share a little bit more about ourselves and why we are passionate about working here at Hope House and with the teen moms and their kids.
[00:01:28] Speaker C: Thanks, Megan. So Megan and I have both been on staff here at Hope House for quite a few years. I've been here for five years, and I believe, Megan, you're coming up on four years, correct?
[00:01:39] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:01:41] Speaker C: And we are joined on staff by quite a few women who have the awesome opportunity to bring their lived experience of being teen moms and share that with the moms who are currently going through our program.
But one thing that is unique about Megan and I is that not only are we former teen moms, but we also are teen moms who went through the Hope House program. And so going from alumni to staff has been a really cool journey for us. And we will share a little bit more about that journey and how we got here. But we did wanna share a little bit about how, I don't know, just how this all started for us. Megan, do you wanna share a little bit about how you found Hope House and what that was like for you when you first saw the residential program?
[00:02:40] Speaker D: Yeah. So I actually found out about Hope House through McLean high school. I went there 9th grade, so freshman year to graduation, but I was pregnant with my son at 14 years old, and I had him at 15, so I was a new mom, right, my freshman year in 9th grade. So McLean High school actually supports teen parents. They have a teen parent program, and they told me about Hope House, which was awesome. And so I decided to come and tour, but at the time, I wasn't graduated yet. And since the house was a little bit further and I didn't have my driver's license or a car, I had to decide if I wanted to stop going to high school or if I wanted to get my GED and live at Hope House. And it was definitely a situation where I wanted to graduate. I was really close, but I loved the house, and I felt, like, so welcomed by the staff here.
And it was just a beautiful place and an awesome opportunity, but I decided actually not to pursue it until I graduated from high school. High school. So I came back a year later, and then I applied. But I just remember coming into the house and it was just beautiful.
It was welcoming, homey, and the staff were just so nice. And I just felt, like, welcomed, and I felt like they understood me because, of course, it was Lisa Steven, and Robin Scott at the time, they were teen moms themselves. And so that connection with their lived experience, it just made me feel welcomed and understood, which a lot of the times I didn't feel that way since I was such a young mom.
How about you? When did you apply?
[00:04:45] Speaker C: Yeah, I actually. So before I lived in the residential program here at Hope House, I did live in a different program through open door ministries called Treasure House. And when I lived there, I had my oldest and I was pregnant with my second. And I remember just really struggling through that program. Although it was really awesome, it was geared more towards older women who were more so leaving incarceration. And so the program was super, super awesome, but it didn't necessarily fit my needs as a teenager and who didn't have some of the experiences that the women in that program had.
And so I just remember talking to my mentor there, and she, you know, was really, really awesome of, like, understanding that, of, like, this just may not be the best fit for, you know, for you. And helped me look into other programs. And Hope House is one that had came up, and she had met Lisa Steven a while, a while before then, and so she had talked to me about. About the program. And so I, you know, I looked into it. I looked online and, like, in the in between, between my living at treasure House and then coming to Hope House, I had lived in an apartment with my, with my children's father. And I just remember, like, going back and forth between, you know, do I want to, you know, stay in this relationship and stay in this apartment at the time was only 16.
I had my first when I was 15 and had my second when I was 17, and so I just remember, like, I was catching the bus to high school every day and wanted, like, so badly to, like, get a job and no one would hire me. And just. Just remembering, like, how every day just felt harder than it should feel just to, like, I don't know, just put the basics in place, and things in my relationship weren't going super great, and that was becoming more and more tense. And so eventually, I did decide to apply for Hope House, and I thought that it was going to be really, really hard, like, I thought it was, if I was approved, that it would be a hard decision to move in. But after coming and touring and meeting the staff and just, there were so many things that they had already put in place to kind of remove the things that I was just talking about that just felt so hard every day.
They already thought about all of that, and so I was then able to, you know, focus on, you know, getting further in my education and learning how to drive and finding a job. And those were things that just felt impossible. And so after coming in, it kind of became a no brainer that, you know, I really didn't want to continue in the housing that I was in and in the situation that I was in, that I really wanted to set up my family for success and to give my girls a better future. And it was just really, really clear that this was a really unique opportunity to do that.
You mentioned Robin and Lisa.
Who else was around when you came to tour and when you interviewed who else was involved in that process?
[00:08:55] Speaker D: So I think my initial tour was with Lisa, Steven, for sure, I remember her being there. And then when I came back, because I wasn't interested in, like, dropping out of high school. The second time I came back and was fully invested after I had graduated, my interview was with Robin and Lisa.
And then after moving in, there was the Ras. Well, they were called rcs at the time, actually residential counselors, but there was Nicole. Nicoles. Nicole Feltus and Nicole Walters. Yes. Nicole Walters.
Muriel, Sara Lee.
And I believe that was.
Well, there were a lot more, but I can't remember.
Those are the ones that come to mind.
[00:09:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I think. Well. Cause we moved in.
I think you were only here, like, a couple weeks before I moved in.
[00:10:00] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:10:01] Speaker C: And, yeah, I mean, I remember all of those women, too. I also think about, like, Krista, Frances, and Allie. And I just remember.
I remember it feeling really, really weird at first of, like, every evening, there was a different staff member. As soon as I thought I had met everyone, there was.
[00:10:27] Speaker D: Yeah. And you're like, I just need a schedule here of all this staff and when they're coming, who to expect.
[00:10:33] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. But after, like, a couple of weeks, it was like, okay, there, you know, you learn their, like, rotation of who works what days, and, like, how different each of them were, but just how they took the time to connect with each girl in a different way.
I also remember my very first night, which you will probably remember this.
I moved in, and there was either a pipe that burst down here or down in the basement or something. But I just remember, like, I don't know. I remember at first being like, what did I. What did I sign up for? Like, the basement is flooding, and the moms were just a little bit panicked. Especially the moms who lived in the basement of, like, are we gonna be able to get to our room?
But that was the first time that I had experienced, like, just, like, chaos that then was handled really, really well by adults. Like, the residential counselors gathered us all. We walked down the road for dinner, and it just was like, we've got it. It's gonna be fine. And I was so used to chaos. Just was chaos for a long time, and no one knew how to handle it or had the resources to handle it. And I think that was, like, the best first day because it was not perfect by any means, but it was such a good representation of problems being solved well, and really helped gain my trust here of, like, okay, even if it doesn't all go perfect, these are people who know how to help support and navigate through the imperfect, which was really, really cool. Who did you connect, like, in the staff at that time? What were some of the strongest connections that you made?
[00:12:43] Speaker D: You know, looking back when you mentioned Krista, I remember her devotions that she would do at night.
[00:12:50] Speaker C: Yeah. And her guitar.
[00:12:51] Speaker D: Yes. She would sing and the guitar. And she was just, like, such a faithful woman.
That really sticks out in my mind as well as Muriel. Her devotions were always so beautiful. And coming from a background where I didn't know Jesus, just seeing these women, just shining Jesus light and through them was so beautiful. And just learning in a way that it was my first time being exposed to devotions. And they were just such a beautiful group to learn from.
[00:13:30] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, I agree. I think, like, I don't. I don't know that I would say, like, there was one that just.
That I connected with more per se, but I think I connected with them all very differently. Like, Krista in her faith, for sure, like, stands out. I just remember seeing her like, lead devotions at church or not devotions, praise and worship at church and then use that gift here in devotions for us.
Like, Allie sticks out to me a lot of. She just was one who, like, I don't know, she brought her family with her to serve and would, like, include us in, like, events that her family was doing, which felt really special. Cause she. It was like she was also letting us into a part of her life.
I think as far as, like, maybe, like, my person would probably be Nicole Walters. Like, she and I connected really, really well. And even till this day, it just still have such a cool connection and really funny nicknames for each other that I won't say right now and.
But, yeah, just incredible women who really, like, impacted and molded me while I was here and encouraged me in the type of woman who I want to be and how I want to show up in the world and how I hope the girls who we serve now, I don't know. I want them to walk away and know that they are seen and supported in the same way that we were seen and supported and cared for.
What was the most, I don't know.
What did you take away from the program?
What were some of the lessons you learned while you were here?
[00:15:40] Speaker D: Wow, that is a loaded question because I feel like my self sufficiency and independence started when I moved into here all the way from being able to learn how to drive and getting my driver's license. I remember learning to drive with Robin and driving a minivan and getting my bike. It felt like a bus at the time. Yeah. I was like, I don't know if I could do this. A minivan feels so big. But, you know, I did it, and I was encouraged along the way to do it.
Learning how to do crock pot meals. Like, I remember working with a volunteer that taught me how to do, like, crock pot, and I had never known how to do that before. Or learning how to shop for my family and, like, buying the food that I want and cooking the meals that I want to cook for me and my family, cooking for the whole house. Like, I remember we would take turns cooking dinners and having community dinners together. And that was a great experience, learning to cook for more than two people and, yeah, just, like, prepping all of that, not making enough, making too much, you know, those little life skills that you learn also, you know, going to church, that was a huge thing for me because I had never gone to church before, and I started going to flatirons at that time, and I still love flat irons to this day. So that was awesome. And I think just having the independence with my son, like, learning the parenting skills on my own and just having just me, myself, my son, and doing what I wanted to do with my future, and that was super empowering to have a space to do it and having the support to do it with all these amazing women.
I think the community, living with other moms and their kids was so special, you know, learning how to roommate and just, like, be a respectful roommate and courteous, but also developing friendships, long lasting friendships. Like, we're sitting here today together, and that was 16 years ago, so it's pretty amazing, the friendships that have developed in the community. I think that's, like, something that is such an amazing piece of hope House is the community that comes with it.
[00:18:22] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. I was actually just thinking about that when I was thinking about, it's going to be four years that you've been here at Hope House, but I specifically remember when I had came on as the manager here and I was rebuilding the residential team.
I just remember texting you and asking you like, hey, I am looking to hire some residential advisors. Do you know anyone who's looking? And you're like, as a matter of fact, I'm looking. And that was, first off, the best response, because I did not expect that at all. But you actually started on my birthday, and every year that your work anniversary comes around, I'm like, the best birthday present ever.
[00:19:20] Speaker D: Aw, that's so sweet.
[00:19:22] Speaker C: Like, I just. I don't know. It's been so fun to, like, work with you and to, you know, build this program with you and, like, being able to be, you know, in residential together, especially because, you know, when you came on duty or when you came to work here, you started as a residential advisor and then moved into the housing navigator role, and it just was so cool to be able to look back on the whole journey that we've had together and just remembering, actually, I think this was this. I think this was my daughter's room.
[00:20:04] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:20:05] Speaker C: And then you were right next door, and then Tristan was right across from me and just remembering, like, I don't know, just our kids kind of hanging out and growing up together and the friendships that we made here and then being able to take all of those years of experience and then expertise that we learned in different jobs and turn that around and, like, serve other girls in the same program has been so, so cool.
[00:20:36] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:20:38] Speaker C: We are gonna take a break, and when we come back, we will talk a little bit about our kids. And what it was like for them while we were living here and what they're up to now.
[00:20:49] Speaker E: Hi, everyone. My name is Emmy Blomster. I'm the development officer here at Hope House. If you're looking for a way to celebrate and empower our teen moms, please consider donating a Walmart or king supers gift card. Gift cards are a great way to bless our teen moms because it gives them the independence to get exactly what they need. Our Hope house moms use gift cards to buy groceries, clothing, and even gas. Please mail or deliver gift cards to Hope House, Colorado.
[00:21:14] Speaker D: All right, welcome back, everybody.
So Hope House is a two gen model. So I think talking about the kids is such an important piece of what we do here. It's actually one of my favorite things about working here is just seeing the babies and the children running around. It just fills my heart every day. But, Brittany, I wanted to talk about our kids and, like, our favorite experiences with them when we lived in the house. Do you have a specific memory with your girls that comes to mind?
[00:21:51] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I have a lot of memories of just, like, navigating motherhood here.
But as far as, like, memories with my kids, I'd have to say the first thing that comes to mind is the Christmas party that we had when we were here. And if I'm remembering the right Christmas party, because I've been to a lot since I've been involved in Hope House. We had the one here at the church next door, and it was like, my kids first pictures with Santa, and just, you know, I was not at a place to be able to provide a lot of gifts for my girls at that time. And it just, you know, it just was so special. Like, really good food, really good music, and having all of our, you know, friends that we had made and just watching my kids just, like, play. And I also just, I don't know. I think my girls connected really well with Tristan and with another resident at that time, Danielle Anders.
Her little girl Gracie, connected really well with my girls, and I just. I just loved watching them play and be able to just be kids and be in a safe place. And, yeah, I mean, I remember celebrating my daughter's second birthday here as well, and that was super special.
Yeah, I think there were just a lot of firsts. Like, my girls were pretty young. My oldest was one when I moved in, and my youngest was only three months at the time. And so they are now 17 and almost 16. My second child will be 16 in July.
And, yeah, it just. I don't know. I just loved watching them connect with other kids and be able to just be kids. That was probably my favorite.
And watching staff connect with them too, like Anele, you were talking about Robin Scott earlier, and analay could not say her name. She always called her robbit.
So every time she'd come into work, she's like, where's Robbit? Where's Robbit? And, yeah, like, my second child, Ariana, she, like, she was only three months when we lived here, so this is where she took her first steps and, yeah, it just. Yeah, it's cool to know that you can look back and see where your kiddo took really big milestones.
It's a cool place. What about you? Any favorite memories with Tristan?
[00:25:03] Speaker D: You know, now that I think of it, with the milestones, Tristan was two when I moved in here. He had his third birthday here with all of the hope house residents and their kids and staff, and he had a car's birthday cake. I remember, and I just thinking back to all of the moments and the pictures I took of him in this house.
He was potty training here.
He would follow Marv around and help Marv with house tasks and watering the flowers and doing everything that Marv does. He loved Marv, who was a really crucial volunteer back in that time. He was like the house handyman.
So that was really special to look back on that. And he was a male. That truly influenced Tristan at that young age. So, yeah, I think speaking of children being in this residential house, we do have some kids going to nap time right now, if you can hear that. But, yeah, I think just watching all of the kids grow up together is also such a special thing. Like, I think, too, Tristan and analy, they're so tall now. Tristan's 18 years old. He's over six foot tall. And I think about them being in that little luggage. There's a picture of them sitting in a luggage together, and they were so smart.
[00:26:44] Speaker C: They were so itty bitty. We still need to recreate that picture. I think they won't fit, though.
[00:26:49] Speaker D: They each need their own luggage.
That would be awesome.
[00:26:54] Speaker C: Yeah. Do you think Tristan remembers anything from the time that you guys were living here?
[00:27:01] Speaker D: You know, he does, because now that he is actually volunteering here in his own ways, he has come into the house and he's like, since it's fully renovated, he's like, whoa, you know, this is not how I remember it. Also, he does remember the playroom, which is where our room was, and he spent a lot of time in that room. But it's a full circle moment for him because he does remember all of the staff.
When he came to the gala two years ago, and he saw the staff that was working in the house at the time, he didn't remember some of them, but he remembered Robin. And Robin was so funny. All you have to remember is, I was your favorite. That's all you have to worry about.
[00:27:52] Speaker C: Don't second guess it.
[00:27:54] Speaker B: Don't think about it too much.
[00:27:55] Speaker D: Yeah. But he loves Lisa, Steven. Like, he's always loved Lisa.
She's taken him school shopping over the years and just done special things. But, yeah, those connections with staff, and now that he is helping move things here or dressing up as the Easter bunny, things like that. That he does.
Really cool to see.
[00:28:21] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. I think, like, I don't. I don't know if my girls actually remember living here. Like, when we moved out, they were still pretty young. But I do know, like, I've. We've stayed connected the whole time, and so, like, they'll share different things about our time here, but I can't always tell if it's because they remember it or because I've shared those things with them. But I do know that they both have this, like, very strong connection to, like, this was home. And, you know, this is where we did some of our growing up. And they have both come back to volunteer.
Both of my girls came with me to volunteer at the Christmas shop this last year, but they've also. I mean, typically, a couple times a year, when they have, you know, time off of school, they'll come and volunteer for a day or two and either write thank you notes or help out in early learning or help organize things. And they love it. They love coming here. And as a matter of fact, a couple years ago. Cause I have a total of five children now, and only two of them lived with me here.
It was a little tense in my house for a moment because my three younger kids were really upset that they never got to live here.
[00:29:49] Speaker D: Like, this is really unfair that they.
[00:29:52] Speaker C: Got to use that playroom every day. And it was so cool, because although this is such a beautiful place, a lot of hard life can happen before you end up needing to come to a residential program. And so the fact that it has, like, brought so many beautiful experiences and has been such a beautiful part of our life to where my children, who came at a different time in my life, where I didn't need that support, look back and they're like, I am jealous that they got to do that. And I did not. It's kind of cool.
And, yeah, they're 17 and almost 16 now, and both have actually surpassed the age that I was when I became a mom, which is also really surreal.
And I really could not imagine being a grandma right now. And I need to knock on wood, but what is Tristan up to now? Like, what does it look like for him now?
[00:31:07] Speaker D: Yeah. So Tristan is actually graduating high school. He's 18, and he's thinking about what he's going to do with his next steps in adulthood. And I just looked to when I was living here with him, and that is exactly what I was doing. So it's really just. It's amazing to see that I raised this human into adulthood, and now, you know, he's a grown man and making his own decisions with what he wants to do with his career. And then Ben, my second, my youngest, he's 14, so he'll be going into 9th grade his freshman year of high school. So, yeah, and looking back to that, like, I was pregnant when I was 14. So it's just. It's crazy to see them in their teen years experiencing childhood in a different way than I did. But it's amazing to see how much they've grown and how Hope House has been a part of that process along the way over the years. And, yes, so impactful that our children love it, even in the fact of what you would think being a group home is and stigmas that go into a community living, residential situation. But there's just something so special about this place in Hope House, and the children absolutely love it. So it's really special.
[00:32:43] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely.
Kind of changing course a little bit. At the beginning, we talked about diving a little bit deeper into our time as staff here.
What, what has been your favorite part about working here at Hope House?
[00:33:04] Speaker D: I think the fact that it took a global pandemic for me to actually work here is. It's always so funny to think about that. I could be a dental hygienist cleaning teeth right now, but God had other plans, and I fully believe that because having the lived experience that I had, I never thought I would use that in my profession. But there is something so special about it. And working with the moms and their kids in this capacity, it's not something I ever planned on doing, but it is just so special, and I have full passion in it.
I think the most important thing about this work is, you know, changing lives one mom at a time, and that's truly what's happening here.
All the staff here are working collaboratively to not only, like, change generational cycles for moms, but for their children. And that is pretty beautiful. And it's amazing the work that's taking place here.
It's just such an amazing mission to be serving, honestly. What about you?
[00:34:27] Speaker C: Yeah, when I first came on staff, well, actually, I started off as a volunteer. After graduating the program, I eventually came back and started volunteering and helping with Bible studies and just different events. And then I did my internship here, and I kind of just had this whole idea of what my career was going to look like and what my life was going to look like. And at one point, I was pretty set on, like, I'm going to be a surgeon. And I started off my career in the medical field right after I graduated from Hope House, from the Hope house program.
And I worked in the medical field for ten years. And I really, I don't think at the time I really knew, like, deep down what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to help people, and I knew that I wanted to, I guess, not just help people, but be a safe person in people's, like, most vulnerable moments. And I think part of that is from, like, some of my own experiences of having, you know, moments of, like, just vulnerability and needing support. And, you know, I found a lot of safety here at Hope House, but that wasn't my experience everywhere in the world where, you know, I was a young teenager and needed, needed more from the adults around me. And I knew that I wanted to be that for other people, but I didn't know exactly how. And so I worked in the trauma ICU at Denver health for quite a while. And I really, like, I loved that. I loved being able to support people and support their families through really hard times, but it never fully clicked for me. Like, I never fully felt settled.
And then eventually, like, I really just felt a strong call to be here at Hope House, and I didn't know in what capacity that would be. And when I first came on staff, I was working with moms, and I loved that. I was doing family advocacy work and really supporting them and their economic self sufficiency. And, you know, that was really, really awesome. And then, as my time has developed here, I've become a manager. And so I don't work with the moms as much, but I'd say my favorite part of my job now is that I get to help other staff members grow in supporting the moms. And because I have a lot of that lived experience and being able to blend my professional experience and my lived experience to train others on how to support the moms. Well, it really does bring me so much joy, because our moms need. They need a village, and I have the honor of being able to train and support that village, which is really, really cool.
[00:37:50] Speaker D: That's beautifully said.
[00:37:51] Speaker C: Aw, thank you.
All right, so, Megan, as we wrap up, what is a piece of advice or encouragement that you would share with a teen mom or a young mom who might be listening to this podcast?
[00:38:09] Speaker D: Yeah. So I just look back to when I was 14 and pregnant, and I was so scared. You know, I had no idea what being a parent meant.
I had no idea what my future would hold. But if I could take a little bit of snippets from advice that really stuck with me at that time, from 14 to adulthood, especially from women that had gone through teen pregnancy and parenting themselves, I would say that it doesn't have to all make sense that you were chosen to be your child's mom. They chose you. You were chosen for a reason. And, you know, all you can do is be a good parent for them and continue on your journey, and you'll find out along the way what that means exactly and what you're supposed to do, but you don't have to have all the answers. And just being a good mom and loving yourself and your children like that is everything, you know, like your family. And I think looking back as well, at all the hardships, you know, graduating high school was. That was hard. And being a mom at the time and not necessarily fitting in with other high school students, I think finding community with other moms is huge. And just working towards what you want in your life and your self sufficiency, it won't come overnight by any means, but just taking the time to really focus on the here, the now in your family and then work towards your goals, and it will come eventually.
And you're never alone. You know, there are other teen moms out there going through the same thing, and even if you don't feel like you can connect with other people, like, you're never alone.
[00:40:34] Speaker C: Yeah, really well said.
I don't think there's much more that I would add to that besides one thing that took me a long time to learn. Um, like, no one had to teach me that my children deserved a good life. Like, I wanted that so, so deeply for them and was willing to do whatever it took to, um, to. To give them the best I could. Um. But what. What did take me quite a bit of time and something that I'm even still learning now in my thirties, is that, like, I also deserved it and being able to fight for me the way that I fight for them and I.
No, I really want moms to grasp that our teen moms or teen moms anywhere else, that their babies are so deserving. But so are they.
[00:41:36] Speaker D: Yeah. The worth and that and the value, like being a teen mom does not take away your value or your worth.
You are beautiful and worthy of doing everything you want for your future.
Yeah. I think that's really important to know. And that's probably something a lot of teen moms battle is that self-worth and value.
Yeah. Just knowing that they're believed in, they're loved, they can do this.
[00:42:08] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:42:09] Speaker D: That's so important.
[00:42:11] Speaker C: Absolutely. We want to thank you for listening to mine and Megan's stories today. We both feel so privileged to support teen moms here at Hope House. If you would like to learn more about Hope House, you could visit our website at hopehousecolorado.org. Thank you for taking the time to listen, and we'll see you next time here on Life (Re)viewed.
[00:42:37] Outro Song: The things I didn't know the things I didn't know about you oh, precious soul the things I didn't know the things I didn't know about you about.
